No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
