How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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