so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
