i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
