Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
