Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
