Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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