Tell her she can't have a vagina
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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