Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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