My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
