She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
