Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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