belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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