i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
