The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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