idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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