Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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