i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
