maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize