Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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