You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
