He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize