I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
