i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
