Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish you could order shots online.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
