yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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