Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
