put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize