it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
