why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
