Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
