you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It was confusing and full of hummus
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize