If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
