we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
