Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
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