She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize