I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
why is half of my head shaved?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize