that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
