We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
