you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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