We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize