i barfeds in our rink
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
