He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
oh god the rape fog is back!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
