i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
