yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
