You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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