Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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