Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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