i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
