It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
