Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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