Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
