That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
