Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
