I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
