Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
