you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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