So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
