East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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