Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize