we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
40s are totally the cure
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
