We named our party play list daddy issues
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
