I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
