Apparently you make a good broom.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
