dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
