He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize