I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
