I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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