please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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